i hear what they don´t say

react on what they don´t know

bring it to the level of consciousness

where they don´t understand it

where they cannot refer it to themselves

because of which it will sink deep inside of them

because the gap of what they don´t know about themselves,

about what they have not integrated into their wake mind,

the wake mind of which they think as themselves

the gap makes the info they cannot take

switch directly onto their other side of them

being translated into the language of emotion

far away from their wake words again

but their evaluation led by the neglection

the word-based idea of themselves


did experience confronted with the info

in this neglection

the self is standing in front of itself

to asure there is anybody at all

so any idea of a self

already is a double

that itself thinks its a singularity

and still

though being at least a duality

and in fact being a multitude

still is cut from the other side

with the other language it can´t keep

emotion and simple occurrance

before verbal evaluation

and that is the other side in this mode

of course it´s a mode

because i am writing this in words again

so i´m into the dualistic game of a self

that is making up its mind

the mind that is itself

the mind makes up itself

in this view it becomes its own construction

which makes it feel cut from source it represents

the source on whose behalf it considers

and makes up itself

but it cannot reach there again

cause the language is different

and it´s o so much caught by itself

in reconsideration of the neglection

and how it can forward the neglection

to the source

because what at least it gets

and so maybe called: feels

is the source still unpleased

unsatisfied and asking for more

but the self it can not understand

and it makes up it´s mind on it

makes up itself again

constructs itself at the aim of fulfilment

and the self

in its changing sides of self-re-con-side-ration

doubles and triples and multiplies further

gets vast and outworked

networked and fierce

in attempts to grab hold of the modes

of fulfilment

waits for depeches

that will always come secretely

so it will not wait for depeches

but take them as they come

as they do not and cannot

and don´t want to follow order

and systems of constructions

that follow the make-up

that made-up and make

turns to smears on the membranes and folds

that devide the selves and their sources

and surfaces of onlooks

by whatever entity

the secrets stay unfulfilled

in the language of the other

and desire is growing like that

restlessness in attempt to please the source

which always will end up in pleasing the self

and stay on this side

it will stay on this side

make up itself on this side

stare at itself on this side

grab hold at itself on this side
fearfully embrace itself on this side

cramp it in itself

trys to switch

cause switching was the mouth of the source

but it switches only from one side of the self

from itself to itself

and the more and more it executes this

becomes skillful and agile

it executes itself

from this

then from that side

and trys to pretend

more and more

that it came from the source

recturning with depeches from the source

and it executes itself

from this and from that side

this and that side

execute themselves

each one pretending the behalf of the source

the counterfeit of the source

passed on with each
turn of the wake

of the turning around of the self

turning around itself

each one acting in the name of the other

as the claim of the source

chasing each other

the self and the self

chasing itself

executing itself

executing itself

delenquents each in return

cause the claimed source

is the one from whom each of them claims

to be different

cause the source somes from the other side of the gap

and the self is claiming the gap in itself



and the nourrishment that´s there

from the source

still is not meant

when the contact the self imitates

takes its chase

but the nourrishment´s there

and the more it is outside

the more it is out of reach

out of cognition

and re-cognition

the more the self-substitution

has taken its place

the more it will be everywhere

cause it is there

somewhere

occurring

energizing

driving

but fully out of reach

the self-reference has given it the freedom of ignorance

the freedom of boundlessness

and loss of control

or what has been there asuch

and boundlessness will choose how to appear

what it will nourrish or feed or motivate

and the self-reference

in its jumpy haste

will effect it here and there

sometimes here sometimes there

while the self-re-con-side-ration

changes side and re with its own ration

ale and tee

for two and more and many who will

take a bit of the offered

here and there

a changing

not even a patchwork

only in time

and loose relation

the souce will spread everywhere

and be nowhere

becomes eventfulness without any of its own behalf

it is verywhere

ecstatically verywhere

boundless and wild

open source freely adapted

being consumed

and cut into pieces

while the same is not possible

torn in pixels unrecognized

vapor diffunding

un-ad-rest

less-ness

yearning

and roaring

received so much fragmentized

it is omnipresently not there at all

until the self construction finds out

which kind exectution it means in the end

and distinction of the whole

is just an unlucky misunderstanding

of extinguish-meant to be drawn

to the self in its self-con-firm-ation

its self-reference

its self asswipe cheap childy holding up old torch

where heritages meet

when the switch inbetween of those

gets picked by the self-ish

inhalation of vapor of the moment

the contactless fragment

where openness embraces dictatorship

and the selfful mind looks at itself

suspicious and self-delicious in one

changing and changing and changing

to get a snack that turns to poison

with the next change of side

until there´s a cut

interference

and the first asks what that might be

and to say it straight away:

that would be spoken from any point of the self

that performs itself time and again

needing toys and fuel for the ride

so it has to be something

so it can be positively saying

i´m positive

because it will want to find something it can grab

what to do when itself is one to be cut out

cut out from the automatation of the self

that always grabs something to

confirm its own existence

in this exallereating metabolism of selves

you cannot right cut it by feeding some more

it will cry for food

it will cry for food

for more

don´t let me die

not one of us

cause we got something to carry

they say

we need to continue our chase of depeches

what are you doing

you cannot shut us down

not one of us

(in fact there´s only two of them

they just dress up different

every party or stunt they throw

as seen above)

they bubble and mumble

and complain and resist

would use the source´s fragmentation to their best

to confuse any will of rearrangement

that would cut out the one of them

reuduce the multutude

first only to two

understand: it is only two anyway

(the interlocking is more complex

but first think it as only two sides that are changing)

one of two

cut

readers and books

readers performing the act of reading

and meanwhile reading the same in the head

readers performing the act of reading

meanwhile watching themselves reading

the same thing in the head

readers performing the act of reading

meanwhile watching themselves watching themselves reading

the same thing in the head

a mirrorgame

a mindfuck

just don´t perform

just don´t perform

one in the endless row

just stop for a while

and a little while longer

get a feeling of sneaking back

into it again

to knwo what it really is

you don´t know what it really is

as long as you´ve not left

or even lost it

it it´s o so important

the essence of it will be with you anyway

just leave one of them

in a moment of nothingness

that shows what it really is

a reflex

not more than a reflex

learned and put in such speed

it is able to convince itself

it would´t be possible to interfere or stop

such is the speed

it claims to have

but it´s slow

so slow

not moving at all

not showing at all

not anything at all

even not to itself

if not knwoing about nothingness

perform its own nothingness

like you measure the amount

at point zero of the scale

starting farther up

the amplitude will show to be less





and the most important thing in the end

is the omnipresence that´s not there at all

to understand that

not by grabbing it

but by letting it

interfere

and so show it

and sink again

but not in a chasing mirrorgame of selves





and that´s why there still is feeling

despite all

should freak out also

two not even knowing each other

are bound

and don´t care at the same time

ignorance driving crazy

for a year in two lives

and nearness at the same time

one would take over

then give up all control

and both poles being there
at the same time

all the time

as the various ones they are

and co-respond

some with words

some with touch

some with sound

and all of them at the same time


one hoping the other will get along

with words much better

and not diffuse completely

and won´t panic anymore

learn to give and give up

in controlled loss of control

that fade

had already lived it

every time anew

could not do any other

and what would be let out

would have its opposite
as a treasure inside

and more

Standing in one´s own light

If it´s not this art coming up from you
it´s other ones.
I believe in the fear of loosing one´s own art
by relaxing too much.
Or loosing oneself.

Can work with that.

It will be dragged to the light
from the next lower level,
once it seems vanished,
because a part of oneself
by then will have vanished,
the one that´s in dialogue always,
standing in front of oneself,
wouldn´t want to forget this view.

It´s somehow like standing on a stairway,
not daring to step down,
cause looking upwards, fixed stare,
The view, that so long had seemed to be all,
so inside of it one had been,
not knowing about it any longer,
the view,
disguised as a whole human being,
it stands in the way,
on the stairway,
grabbing for hold up there,
will not climb down the stairs,
in fear of loosing the hold
and falling when turning.

Many would sink down, though,
in order to rest on the stairs,
the eyes shut down,
curling their bodies
on concrete kerbs.

then, sometime,
still in dreams their other half,
they open their eyes wide,
and see gleaming steps below
and other ones
and more behind,
with almost glistening edges,
touched by light
conceiled no more
by the statue.